


The Poem of an Outlaw

by bagelistrying



Category: Doki Doki Literature Club! (Visual Novel)
Genre: AU, Everyone Is Alive, Full of a bunch of wild west stereotypes, Gen, Implied MC/Yuri, Making fun of Nat being short, Monika is somehow still a bitch, Random & Short, Saloon, Sayori is still adorable, Slight murder mystery vibes, What Have I Done, Whiskey - Freeform, Why Did I Write This?, Wild West AU, bar fight i guess, everyone is a cowboy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-19
Updated: 2020-09-19
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:21:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26545909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bagelistrying/pseuds/bagelistrying
Summary: DDLC but it takes place in the wild west! MC and Sayori are bartenders at a saloon, Yuri and Nat are outlaws, and Monika is the piano player.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6





	The Poem of an Outlaw

**Author's Note:**

> here have some wild west terminology i had to look up:  
> Bar dog: bartender  
> Angelica: unmarried woman  
> Lily liver: coward  
> Countrified: rude  
> Adam’s ale: water  
> Bottled courage: whiskey

“The bar dog’s back, is he?” Sayori had looked up from the counter, folding her rag and stuffing it back in the pocket of her apron. 

“I wasn’t gone that long, was I?” MC replied, grabbing another glass.

“Kidding. The folks at table eight want another bear sign, so I’ll get on that.”

“What about the Angelica in the corner? Her name was Yuri, that’s it. Didn’t she ask for a drink earlier?”

“Well, you know Yuri. Looks insane, sitting back there in the shadows, but the patience of a saint.” Sayori leaned over to MC, grinning. “Why, do you fancy her?”

“No, ‘course not. Can’t waste time like that when there’s work to do. Speaking of which, surely you have drinks to be making.”

Sayori rolled her eyes and disappeared into the kitchen once more, and MC turned his attention back to Yuri. 

She had been watching the poker game at the next table over silently, focused on the hand of one player. A younger looking girl clutched her cards close to her chest, brightly colored hair glinting in the sepia light from beneath her hat. While all the other player’s eyes were on the deck, the girl set down her drink and slipped one of her cards beneath the table, swapping it out for an ace.

Yuri, watching closely, narrowed her eyes and stood up. “Pardon the interruption, but I could have sworn that there was a four of spades where you now have an ace.” The girl stared over her shoulder, momentarily jumping at the shadow looming over her. 

MC raised an eyebrow. Yuri didn’t often leave her seat, and he rarely saw her coming and going, so he never noticed that she was taller than most of the other outlaws, and she wasn’t even wearing boots. Nat, however, usually sat on her knees at the poker table. 

“My apologies, Yuri. Do you have a problem with how I play my games?”

“You’re not playing, you’re cheating.”

“Horse feathers. Plus, we’re all outlaws here. Just saw Mr. Hardin with an ace up his sleeve, too. But I kept that dry, didn’t I?” Nat got up from her chair, pointing at a fellow across the table, but eyes still glinting angrily at Yuri. “Cause I’m not a lily liver like you are.”

“Calling me the coward?” Yuri asked. Something in her hand glinted in the light. The flash caught Nat’s attention, and her unfocused gaze drifted down to a long knife that she was turning in her palm. “I’m just telling the truth. You know what else is true? You ain’t knee high to a lamb. Who are you to be stirring up a fuss?” A few outlaws across the table snickered, silenced by Nat’s unamused glare.

Sayori had arrived back from the kitchen, glancing anxiously around the room at the two girls facing each other, the dust on the floorboards scuffed up. “Oh, lord. Who is that?” Sayori pointed at Nat. “I don’t see her around much.”

“That’s Nat. Pretty countrified, but usually only stops by for a round of poker, then she’s off again. We just assume she’s a longrider, but who knows what she does outside the bar.”

Sayori fell silent as the two moved to the center of the room, Yuri grinning from beneath her hat.

“My, looks like we’ve got an acorn calf on our hands. A runt, if you will, but strangely thinks mighty high of herself for that.”

“Yuri, you crooked…”

“Mad, are we? I’ve got all day.”

“There ain’t room for the both of us at this at this bar, Yuri.”

“Well then maybe we should take it outside.”

“Hold your horses, lasses.” Nat turned angrily to MC, folding her arms as he glanced around the room. Yuri slowly took a step back towards her seat. “Nat, that drink on the counter, that’s no Adam’s ale, isn’t it?” MC asked.

He walked over and swirled the drink around in its glass before turning to the liquor shelf behind them. “That’s our strongest bottled courage. In just yesterday, we barely started serving it yet. And Yuri, that isn’t the usual apple peeler you bring, that’s the knife the butcher down the road uses. Can cut flesh like paper, but it’s not meant to leave the shop. How did you find it?”

Yuri lowered the blade, side eyeing Nat. “Was just here on the table where I always sit. Why?”

“As I suspected. Ladies, you’ve been set up.” MC walked back around the counter, sliding past Sayori and scanning the room suspiciously. 

“Set up?” Nat retorted, taking another step towards Yuri, who backed away. “She’s the only villain here. Lyin’ like a rug with every word, don’t go framing someone else.”

“Ah, that’s what you think. But I already know exactly who it is.”

The bar fell quiet, chatter dying down to uncertain whispers and leaving only the soft piano playing from the corner near the door.

“You can’t mean Monika, can you?” Sayori whispered, tracking MC’s harsh gaze to the corner of the room. “She’s only the piano player. Chipper as a jaybird, but not one to set this up. The whole bar knows her, what’s she to be angry about?”

“Who knows?” MC adjusted the bottles of whiskey on the shelf and walked around the counter to Monika, who had stopped playing. “It’s best if we ask her.”

Monika had slid to the back of the piano bench, adjusting her sleeve garter.

“Miss Monika. Do you happen to know anything about this little argument we’ve got here? Dare I say, was it part of your plan to get them fighting like Kilkenny cats and have the attention off you? What is it, Monika?” MC brushed off the top of the piano, watching the dust swirl up into the golden glow being cast from outside.

Monika leaned forward, resting her chin on her hands. “Don’t get your back up, now. I assure you, I had nothing to do with this. It isn’t out of the question for Nat to buy more firewater than she can handle, and we’ve all heard Yuri lie before.”

“Lie?” Sayori had arrived beside MC. “I’ve not heard Yuri speak before.”

“She’s right. Don’t think you can weasel your way out of this. Maybe you thought a brawl would give you a chance to escape, or something else more sinister. Either way, you’re headed to the crowbar hotel.”

Monika just laughed, kicking her other leg over the piano bench. “You know, I don’t belong here.”

“You’re damn right you don’t. I don’t remember even asking for a piano player, you just showed up here one day and expected to get paid.”

“You really think I care about money? I’ve got better things to do.”

“Like what?” Sayori asked, glancing up at MC for direction.

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you. Nobody would. I have far more control than you think I do, and if I felt like it, this little grocery you’ve set up could be completely gone. And all of you in it.”

The other outlaws frowned nervously, a couple unsettled chuckles from the other side of the room. 

“But luckily for you, I’m just about ready to cut a path out of here.” She stood up, straightening her vest, and strode to the door, all eyes on her. She held open the door for a moment, glancing over her shoulder. “I’ll leave you be.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I like to think Monika glitched herself into Red Dead Redemption or something and didn’t want to leave until a parallel of events happened there (minus everyone being killed ‘cause that would have made me sad). Anyway, I just wanted to practice adjusting dialogue to fit a time period instead of just the same old casual conversations, so it’s probably kinda shaky and hard to understand
> 
> Oof didn’t proofread and had to fix a bunch of continuity errors


End file.
